Louisville, KY: The beginning and the end

Kentucky is the next stop on my route. The only other time that I have been to Kentucky was a year and a half ago with my mom and two of my cousins; we drove up from Tennessee to go to a mall since none of us had ever been to the state before. The ‘mall’ we came to was one of a few businesses in a small plaza and it was more like a flea market. Granted, we did find some awesome things in there. I found a sign that says something along the lines of: I got gas here! and has a photo of a gasoline pump on it. Because I’m classy. Mom had the best find, though. Her sister, who we were visiting in Tennessee, runs a campsite business with her husband (more about that later) out in the boonies. The cabins have electricity, but no water, so Mom found a portable potty for my aunt to scare future campers with. Then we went where any other person just over the state line would go to extend the trip- Kentucky Fried Chicken! And our trip was complete.

As I made the drive from Cleveland to Louisville I was feeling pretty proud of myself. It gets a little faster and a little easier each time I unhook and hookup the Drag Queen to the car. And I am much more confident while driving it around- two lane roads, up hills, through construction- than I was just driving it down the high way a few weeks ago. GPS took me through the heart of Columbus and it seemed to be somewhat similar to Cleveland, in that it is a little big city. Cincinnati looked like the biggest of the three. The Great American Ball Park, where the Reds play baseball, has an exterior side that faces the highway and says, “Rounding third and heading for home,” which was Joe Nuxhall’s (radio brodcaster) sign off. That was cute. And every time I think it’s going to be a smooth ride I hit some kind of bumpy patch, whether it’s road work or potholes or just crappy streets. That’s not cute. I also noticed that these three cities all have streets named after Florida cities. I wonder if that's for the citizens in the winter months, helping them think of Miami and the heat? Probably. Anyway, I wasn’t able to find a WWOOFing host in Kentucky, or any cheap campgrounds, so I decided to Walmart hop. I will spend one night in Louisville and one night in Lexington. I get to the Walmart in Louisville and take Nev for a walk. The neighborhood immediately behind the store was a beautiful loop. Siri told me that there was a park at the end of one street, so we walked there, and all that park was was a CVS on top of a mound of grass. Wrong, Siri. I set up my mini-office outside of a Qdoba since they had outdoor seating and wifi. Thanks Qdoba! Being back south of Cleveland I noticed that it’s hot and humid out again. Ugh. We waited out the heat as long as possible in the shade of Qdboa then went back to the Drag Queen. Thankfully, I prepared before we left and wet two cloths and put them in the freezer. I assumed that those + battery operated fans + ice cube treats would be good enough, and while it did help, it wasn’t sufficient. I could’ve fallen asleep because I was exhausted, and Neville was asleep, but he was panting all night and I kept waking up to try and make sure he was cool. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I was awakened at 5 A.M. when the delivery trucks began pulling in and out of the Walmart parking lot. This is not our night. They finally stopped around 8 A.M. and I had given up on sleep after about an hour of tossing and turning. 

The next morning I used my phone to look online to find places where there would be enough room to park my camper so that we could park and walk around downtown before leaving. I forgot to mention that two days ago, while still in Cleveland, I smashed the screen on my phone for the first time ever. The phone just jumped out of my hands and face planted on the street. While looking through the shattered glass, it looked like there was a decent parking lot down by the baseball museum and I called to confirm. The person on the other end of the phone was completely useless and could not tell me if yes, a camper could fit, if the lot was open, or how much it would cost. All he knew was that I would have to pay for the number of parking spots I used. So helpful. I drove downtown through a bunch of construction and one way streets, find the lot, and lo and behold! It’s closed! There was a restaurant on the water that might have had parking so that’s my next try. Alas! The streets are completely blocked off for construction! Three point turns amidst dump trucks while towing the camper are a hoot. I happen to find an empty lot next to a skate park and look it up online. No information is coming up and I’m not going to call Useless Magoo at the parking hotline, so I try my hand at the ‘ask us online’ portion of the website. This took forever but the person was at least able to tell me that it is private parking and she encouraged me not to park there. Of course. I give up on seeing downtown at this point, which annoyed me because it looked cute as I drove through it. Wasn’t meant to be on this trip, I guess. I decided to head to Churchill Downs and get a look at where the Kentucky Derby takes place. I drive through more construction, but at least Siri takes me by the University of Louisville where I catch every green light and have almost no opportunity to snap a photo. Siri also takes me under bridges with the lowest clearance that I have seen so far and I make it under with maybe 6” to spare. I arrive at Churchill Downs and see signs for free parking. Judging by the rest of the basically empty parking lots, this means I can probably park and walk around- finally! I follow the signs, and follow the signs, and follow the sings, and where the hell even am I. Pretty far away down a gravel path, that’s where. And it’s at this point that I’m over it. It’s hot, I’m tired, people are awful drivers here, my phone is smashed, and this town is not camper friendly. Louisville was a bust. I curse my friends who got me excited to visit this city, because everyone else wondered why I even bothered going through Kentucky. I tried! Leaving the small streets, I find the highway and look in my side mirror and see that I’ve left a window open on my trailer all day. I pull over to close it, and before I’m even back in my car a road ranger pulled up behind me. He checked to make sure that all was okay with myself, the car, and the camper, and made small talk about being from Florida and the recent massacre in Orlando. The kind man wished me the best of luck and safe travels then I was back on the road. I will give you that, Louisville, great roadside assistance. During the drive to Lexington I decided to cut my losses and head to Tennessee. It’s not much longer of a drive, it’s my next stop anyway, I have family there, and they have AC. I did stop in Lexington to dump my tank and drove through a beautiful campground. On the way out of state, the radio was playing some pretty great America jams so I rocked out to that and bid Kentucky farewell.